Frequently Asked Questions

Why are you so cool?
What's it like to be better than everyone else?
Where do you hang out?
What's the fastest animal in the world?
Which bear is best?
Are trees really that tall?

Why are you so cool?
Impossible to explain to most people because you have to be really cool to understand it all. Some things just are. The Earth is round, the sky is blue, I'm cool.

What's it like to be better than everyone else?
While I wouldn't have it any other way, it does get trying at times. Other people can be so frustrating in their normalness. There are times when I wish everyone else could be as good as me, but then I remember how crazy that is.

Where do you hang out?
It doesn't really matter where I hang out because wherever I am - it's totally awesome. If I give up some specific place and a bunch of random people start going there, I won't go anymore and it will no longer be cool. So it's best if I don't tell people where I hang out.

What's the fastest animal in the world?
Most people immediately say "the cheetah", but they would be wrong. The cheetah is butt-fast and on land he rules. But I didn't say on land, I said in the world. And the fastest animal in the world is..... The Peregrine Falcon. When this bad-ass dives chasing a meal he can hit 200 mph. Two-hunsky baby! 

Which bear is best?
I don't really care. All I do know is... Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica.

Are trees really that tall?
Not everyone is in agreement with this school of thought, but I am here to set the record straight. While indeed some trees are not really that tall, the fact reamins that there are really tall trees randomly growing throughout the globe. So because there are really tall trees, indeed trees really are that tall.